Check this out, it’s crazy!
I was confirmed to speak about Butterfly Man and Feel f’ Real at Uber in San Francisco on 15 May and then one night I get this chat message from a buddy saying they cancelled the event because they went to my site and saw that I use the words “penis” and “fuck” in the book.
Or, in more technical terms as I would learn later after asking them to send me an apology and official cancellation with an explanation, and not put the nasty job of lying off to some lower member of the corporate hierarchy, I am informed that Butterfly Man contains “profanity” and “mature” content and is therefore not acceptable for the “range of lifestyles” represented at Uber.
Really? You think that’s what it’s all about?
You think I was born yesterday?
Profanity. That would be my using “fuck” in at least four English forms in order to account for the diversity of its use, South African, Afrikaans, American, and UK or Ireland. “Fuck, Fok, Fak,” etc. And four times I use it as a graphic image in large handwritten letters in the center of the page.Why did I do that? For two reasons, I would write to inform Uber. One, because when people are in pain, when they are really suffering, I mean like really hurting or afraid or angry, in real time, they often use that word or words like it, to express those feelings, and Butterfly Man is all about real expressions of human pain and suffering and vulnerability in the present tense. About really feeling. Hence we came up with Feel f’ Real.
Two, because when humans are happy or surprised or in awe. Whey they see something amazing, a beautiful view or movie or car or person or action or dress or tree or hear a beautiful song or express their affection and love and surprise and joy and amazement with something, they use the word in all forms (even as an infix I would learn, like unfuckingbelievable) and all places like offices and schools, in movies, at White House Correspondents’ dinners. Since when has using the word “fuck” been an issue in literature or entertainment (Hollywood anyone?) And since when has using it in forms to account for the “range of lifestyles,” like, “fokin shit bru!” after reading a quote from an Indian mystic, or “fuck!” after being inspired by the Bible, been questionable? Has no one at Uber, a company known for having “one of the most toxic cultures” in the history of any valley, silicon or otherwise, ever used the word before? Or ever encountered it in life? Is that even possible?
Catcher in the Rye, anyone?
More than a thousand people have read Butterfly Man and only two from a huge range of colors and ages and genders and lifestyles have ever written to express any hesitance about the language, and in both cases it was an issue of my using a style to express as clearly as I could my suffering at the time to convey my emotions (it’s why we like to talk about the evils of the meat industry and war but not observe them) and not specific instances of language (ironically I have been invited to speak at one of the aforementioned organisations in NYC).
In fact, in all the reviews of Butterfly Man it’s the very style and language and feeling and rawness that readers (women and men) love and are the most grateful for.
So what’s really going on?
Mature? What could be more mature than daily headlines about Uber, such as
•CNN investigation: 103 Uber drivers accused of sexual assault or abuse
•Destruction Of Taxi Industry By Uber
•14 women accusing drivers of sex assault ask Uber board to be released from arbitration
•Uber Eats driver charged with shooting other driver during road rage incident
•A Taxi Driver Took His Own Life. His Family blames Uber’s Influence.
Wait, a man writes about his erectile dysfunction, and how his body (penis) was ultimately informing him of his abusive behavior, and insisting he become more kind and compassionate to all living creatures, and he publically apologizes in the process of telling that story, and compared to a history of Uber in both the media and the world, and not just about “sexual harassment” or a “chauvinistic” culture or an “aggressive corporate culture” of “dishonesty” and my story is too “mature” a subject?
Or, as we wrote to Uber “What is it about a white male’s failure to get an erection, and his expression of that failure in literature with all its intonations of emotion and feeling (which is what the abused actually do in life i.e., scream or feel “help me!”), and his learning from that failure and those feelings to respect life in all its forms, that is more mature than 103 Uber driver’s accused of sexual assault?”
So, again, I ask, what’s really going on?
Do you really want to know?
Do you really want to feel?
Feel, f’ real?
I’ll tell you what’s going on. Butterfly Man is the story about how the white, corporate patriarchy of ambition and exploitation, i.e., überculture, led to my getting erectile dysfunction in the first place (aka, it emasculated me, which apparently is unacceptable content at Uber – imagine, a white man who couldn’t get it up at Uber?), and how in healing this I realized how abusive I was, and how the system in general fosters abuse on just about every level of life and it was my penis, of course, that would be the only voice strong enough to finally get that message through to me, and the message was people, men included, to openly speak about our vulnerability, that it’s ok and necessary for men to feel and share their feelings. That the abuse, in all forms against all lives, animals included, has to stop!
“Please help me!”
So what’s really going on?
I’ll tell you what’s going on, überculture.
I’ll tell you what’s going on, discrimination.
It’s ok for the white man to suddenly become enlightened with respect to the suffering of vulnerable populations of humans, gender, color, race, nationality, religion, sexual preference etc., but it’s NOT ok, not in überculture, no fucking way, to ever, ever admit that a white male penis may fail at its most important mission: Be Hard.
“What did you do for me today, boy?”
“He’s a high performer.”
No way, in überculture, is it acceptable for men to need or express their vulnerability and need for help, and/or especially in ways that are not convenient for the institution (or rather, an institution built upon “aggressive” corporate “emotionally intelligent” culture).
No way is a 70 billion dollar company whose corporate culture was founded upon white male penises being hard, and according to one writer “should not be changed” and according to others “can’t be” going to let a long-haired barefoot white South African male encourage men to have softer cocks.
Now way is überculture going to encourage men to express their inner feelings of frustration with, and vulnerability to the white patriarchy of ambition and exploitation. No way is it going to tolerate men being compassionate and real in a way that isn’t managed by men (white) protecting their hegemony over how compassionate and real can be expressed and what they mean.
“Nietzsche waged an almighty war against himself; his philosophy not only became ‘a confession on the part of the author and a kind of involuntary and unconscious memoir’ but a war diary! He gradually turned into a tragic mythical hero, destined for his own destruction.” Dr. Eva Cybulska, 2012.
“As it is, Uber continues to run the risk of ending up like Enron, a company brought low by the same kind of dishonesty that still runs in Uber’s veins.” Leonid Bershidsky
I hope this isn’t true.
By the way I’m still available on 15 May to travel to San Francisco as we agreed… You said you wanted genuine transformation. And were committed to changing the dark ways of your past. Here’s a good chance to take a positive step forward.
Feel for Real / https://www.oliveretreat.com/feel-for-real/
“one of the most toxic cultures”
Catcher in the Rye / A novel that was banned for its profanities.
“Sexual harassment” / https://techcrunch.com/2017/01/28/boardlist-founder-says-sexual-discrimination-is-more-prevalent-than-people-think/
“Chauvinistic” / https://www.google.de/amp/s/moneyish.com/ish/the-story-of-the-brave-woman-who-blew-the-whistle-on-ubers-chauvinistic-culture-may-become-a-movie/amp/
“Aggressive” / https://www.engadget.com/2017/12/01/uber-but-for-toxic-techbro-culture/
“Dishonesty” / https://www.bloomberg.com/view/articles/2017-11-22/uber-s-big-problem-isa-culture-of-dishonesty
“überculture” / https://hardonkarma.com/berculture
“High performer, reassignment rejected” / https://techcrunch.com/2017/02/19/former-uber-engineer-says-company-ignored-repeated-reports-of-harassment/
“Emotional Intelligent culture” / just google Adam Grant Dark Side of Emotional Intelligence, i gave you the link a long time ago for one blog reply
“Should not be changed” / https://www.cnbc.com/2017/02/24/uber-culture-dangerous-to-change–gene-munster.html
“Can’t be” / https://www.ft.com/content/8b4b72b8-1bf3-11e8-956a-43db76e69936
Dr Eva Article